I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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