OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
