Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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