she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
this will be a night to untag.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
