My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
