I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She even gives head with a lisp.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
