He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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