Buhtt sex?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need to calm my uterus...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
