It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
