is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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