You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
