i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drunk is not a location!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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