she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
