just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
