i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
