Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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