Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
