I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
