I need help removing her.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
