I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
