I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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