When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Panties = found
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
