I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We have started to decorate penises.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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