yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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