Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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