Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
