I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
