Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
