one might say we're banned from that church
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
