This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
