After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
