I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
