i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
