what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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