I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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