Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
