girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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