whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize