He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
