Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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