i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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