dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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