the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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