Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
