Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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