kristin has been a bad kristin
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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