i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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