My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
