It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
