two words: eviction party
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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